Experts are reluctant to discuss the problem for fear of giving terrorists any ideas.

A lady tipped me five bucks today after I did an orientation for her 5th graders at the museum. I really don't know how to feel. Flattered? Dirty? Coy? I mostly feel guilty because I think she took me seriously when I told the class that I accept tips. It's one of my best jokes. Here, in reverse order of funniness, are my others:

3. You can't go in the gift shop without a chaperone, but I gaurentee you that the rest of the museum is way better anyways. Batteries for $10!?! Honestly, We are just trying to rip you off in there.

2. There are two special water fountains inside the Exploratorium... and one of them is a toilet. [laughter] Now I don't reccomend that you drink out of the real toilets [laughter] but I sure can't stop you.

1. The flower dissection is all about sex--middle schoolers love it!